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Carpal Tullar - Santa's Big Secret

from Holiday Songs in B Flat by HolyCrapCommunity

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    18 Songs that will make this holiday season one that you'll never forget. The perfect holiday gift! All proceeds go to Musicians for Overdose Prevention. Compact Disc with cover art by Matt Rosebrock.

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about

feat. charango

lyrics

I hatched a plan to follow Santa home
I was suspicious every time they said where he was from
They said the northern pole
But at the northern pole
They’ve got ice and snow but let me tell you there isn’t any land

What makes him never die is he Jesus in disguise
And I wondered if he’d lie that he got ruminants to fly
If he were a normal guy he couldn’t live for very long

Would I be naughty or could I be nice
I ordered off of Amazon a tracking cell device
It was cheap and light
And it was out of sight
When I stuffed it into a delicious huckleberry pie

I left it out for him to find he found it with delight
He took to it like a swine and left into the night
Then the signal came online and the chase was on

Get it, break Santa down into his fundamental part
I know who you are
Get it, break down go out and call him out
Let him know you know

I followed Santa as he traveled home
On an app I had installed onto a burner phone
To a 6 foot slot in a volcanic rock
With an elevator that he entered an took into the ground

And I saw his evil grin as he lowered out of sight
And as I drew closer in in the shadows of the night
I read his name above the door
It read SATAN
KING OF GREED ON HIS CHRISTMAS STEED
MAKE SURE YOU NEVER LET IT END
STRAIGHT DOWN BELOW YOUR CHRISTMAS FRIEND

credits

from Holiday Songs in B Flat, released December 3, 2021

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HolyCrapCommunity Black Mountain, North Carolina

Holy Crap Records is a community of underground artists who make music because they can. It is also a weekly podcast on www.hlycrp.com.

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