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I don't care if it snows
but it might as well if it's this cold
we can make ourselves some tea
stream movies on tv
I don't really care what we do
as long as I'm with you
we can go put a record on
dance around the living room
even with pajamas on
I feel like a queen with you
I don't really care what we do
as long as I'm with you
the lights they set your face aglow
and I turn red I'm sure you know
when you catch me watching you
can't help myself you're such a beaut
I don't really care what we do
as long as I'm with you
we can put on masks and go outside
but honestly I'd rather hide
away inside with you at home
and watch British people bake scones
I don't really care what we do
as long as I'm with you
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5. |
It's a Holiday by NACNAC
02:50
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It's A Holiday by NACNAC
It's a holiday. That's what they say.
What is a holiday when you've got no time to play?
Nothing is sacred unless you make it so - that's what they said X 2
A festivus for the rest of us? Talk Like A Pirate Day? Day of the Grand Chocolat? C'est ca? Lammas?
C'est un jour qui te...supposer d'etre tres heureux et...déposer l'argent (French translation: It's a day where...you're...are supposed to be happy and spend money)
It's a holiday. What is a holiday? That's what we said.
It's a holiday. What is a holiday when you have no bread?
Nothing is sacred unless you make it so - that's what we said
Nothing is sacred unless you make it so - that's what she said
The nihilists gazed upon the beautiful nothing
the sailors were summoned to the sea
shamans on the drums and hindus in the sun
and you you gathered round me
It's a holiday...I'm your holiday...I'm a holiday...come let's play...
when you say it's a holiday...(when we say it is)
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There are armpits and noses and toeses and elbows
Nipples and buttcheeks and ballsacks and buttholes
But do you recall
There's a flesh tube on top of the balls?
[one, two, three, four!]
Frosty the snowman was a jolly soul, frosty the snowman had a funny pole [frosty’s penis is sooooo funny!]
Santa Claus is coming to town / Santa Claus is Coming [Santa’s penis is sooooo funny!]
Santa’s penis is so funny!
Santa’s penis is so funny!
Santa’s penis is so ho ho ho ho ho ho ho funny!
DECK THE HALLS WITH PENISES AND BALLS:
north pole
chestnuts
yule log
Chimney
Shepherd’s staff
candy cane
Stocking stuffer
Fruitcake
Tiny Tim
Jingle bells
HAM
AND A PENIS IN A PEAR TREE
Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat and you’ll never guess what else is [penises are soooo funny]
Also, it's cool if you don't celebrate christmas[yeah] because it's important to take time in the winter with those you love[or yourself] whether or not it's related to some sort of christian eurocentric holiday[whatever you celebrate] tell the people you love that you're grateful for them[tell them you love them]! But also, Santa's penis? [yeah?] It's soooooo funny!
Santa’s penis is so funny!
Santa’s penis is so funny!
Santa’s penis is so ho ho ho ho ho ho ho funny!
Good king wenceslas HAS A FUNNY PENIS
Ebeneezer Scrooge HAS A FUNNY PENIS
The grinch who stole christmas HAS A FUNNY PENIS
Jack Frost HAS A FUNNY PENIS
Little baby jesus HAS A FUNNY PENIS
Little drummer boy HAS A FUNNY PENIS
Rudolph the reindeer HAS A FUNNY PENIS
The polar express guy HAS A FUNNY PENIS
The NUT cracker HAS A FUNNY PENIS
Santa’s penis is sooooooooooooooooooooo FUNNY
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Walking through a wonderland
Snow and mistletoe all around
You can hang your stocking by the fire
Rather wear mine on the town
Tried to light up the tree
A spark turned it all to ash
Sorry Santa Claus, you can just mail me cash
Everyone's excited for Christmas
Everyone, that is, except for me
Everyone's excited for Christmas
I could be but my bank account's empty
Saw a Santa Claus puking on third avenue
I used to sit on his lap
Come to think of it, he smelled like booze
I bet two weeks from now
He'll probably be unemployed
I'll run into him at the bar
Cuz whiskey's the best toy
Not so good at giving gifts, even worse at receiving
Naughty or nice I put it off until Christmas evening
Everyone's excited for Christmas
Everyone, that is, except for me
Everyone's excited for Christmas
I could be but my bank account's empty
Not enough snow to make a man, I'll have to settle for an angel
Climb the tree, put it on top, leave it there to dangle
Everyone's excited for Christmas
Everyone, that is, except for me
Everyone's excited for Christmas
Everyone, that is, except for me
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June Bliss by Wyla
03:03
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All the winter signs,
Post-apocalyptic
Railroad bridge,
Spray paint inscription
It says “June bliss”
(There was a planned demolition)
June bugs
Gone into submission
What a lonely audience
Of bags of cans
At an empty intersection
Insoluble they say
But now they’re so tattered and rotten
Broken and forgotten
Like June bliss
In the middle of this cold mist
Wishing I was vacuum-packed
And gas lit
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12. |
No Gift by Derek Frye
02:41
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An outbreak at the North Pole
Got every last elf.
Won’t be no toys
Up there on the shelf.
Billy and Siouxsie
Will just have to wait
For Xmas in July
Or subsequent date.
Well, jolly Kris Kringle
Got laid up as well.
I sent a letter
To him in the mail.
Said “I heard that Covid
Was just like the flu.”
He said “wait til
It happens to you.”
Santa ain’t coming
Cause of COVID this year.
Just gonna stay home
And shiver with fear.
Won’t be no Frosty.
No Rudolph Reindeer.
Santa ain’t coming
This year.
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December by Day & Dream
03:12
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DECEMBER
Music/Lyrics written by Abby Amaya
So much to remember,
All this time together,
So cold in December,
You can keep me,
Keep me
Warmer,
Warmer.
Little I remember
Everyone together
So cold in December
I will keep you,
Keep you
Warmer
Warmer.
credits
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Lyrics to Christmas Party:
When I first met Noelle
I felt an instant spark
finally I was happy about just how early it would get dark
and we went to the Christmas party
brought the plates and napkins
sipped on hot cider hours on end
danced on the table Jingle Bells
then when we went to leave, Noelle pulled me over and said:
let's just be friends
[okay, whatever]
Holly was just my type
willing to take it slow
that was, until we somehow met up beneath the mistletoe
and we went to the Christmas party
brought some chips and salsa
sipped on eggnog hours on end
danced on the table to Deck the Halls
then when we went to leave, Holly pulled me over and said:
let's just be friends
[Fuck! Anyway,]
I dated Jesus once
Well, it's pronounced Jesús
But he had me yelling out "oh, Jesus Christ!" whenever we'd get loose
and we went to the Christmas party
brought a plate of veggies
sipped on sangria hours on end
danced on the table to O Holy Night
then when we went to leave, Jesus pulled me over and said:
let's just be friends
I can't take this anymore
seems I've got a curse on me
or somebody keeps my single status wrapped up and sitting
underneath the Christmas tree
[Fuck me!]
So, I've got my eyes on you
but this time I'll check twice
make sure that you're a new drift of snow
and not just two inches of ice
then we'll go to the Christmas party
bring bananas Foster
sip on hot chocolate hours on end
dance on the table to We Three Kings
then when we go to leave,
I hope that this night won't end with you telling me:
let's just be friends
let's just be friends
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Hly Crp, Its Xms
Holy crap, it's Christmas
Nobody fucking knew
Couldn't go out shopping
Stuck at home since fucking June
Holy crap, it's Christmas
Seems like any other day
This year has got me feeling
Some kind of fucking way
Holy crap, it's Christmas
Might as well get up
Might just pour something warm
Into this fucking cup
Holy crap, it's Christmas
Let's swig some fucking nog
And wander around the house
To find someone to snog.
Holy crap, it's Christmas
It's strange but fucking true
This world can go to hell
If I can celebrate with you
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Mom, I'm home again
do you remember when I never slept on Christmas eve?
well, I gotta say even to this day
some insomnias never leave
darkness comes at 3:15, all the lights are hung for cheer
I don't know if it's the cold but this is not
my favorite time of the year
Christmas depression, this is my obsession
nothing gets me more melancholy than a holiday
I'll go get the glasses, let the cider flow
the eggnog and the tears will wash it all away
Christmas depression, this is my affliction
nothing gets me more melancholy than a holiday
snow is falling down, but I only cry alone
then I'll come back to the party laughing all the way
3 solemn ghosts of what I miss most
fly outside my angel's wingspan
bells will ring and I would sing O Holy Night
but I do not know if I can
Christmas depression, this is my obsession
nothing gets me more melancholy than a holiday
I'll go get the glasses, let the cider flow
the eggnog and the tears will wash it all away
Christmas depression, this is my obsession
nothing gets me more melancholy than a holiday
snow is falling down, I only cry alone
then I'll come back to the party laughing all the way (ha ha ha)
laughing all the way (ha ha ha)
laughing all the way
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There is no snow
And I don´t even feel that cold
Don´t want to be alone
Or hang up the telephone
It´s getting dark
But the lights flashing before my eyes
All the people walking by
Strangers in a plastic paradise.
But it´s Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Since you´ve been away on Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Since you´ve been gone away.
Nowhere to hide
Nobody will be by my side
And all the things I buy
To try to not feel dead inside.
He was never gone.
They Santa´s beck in town
He knows where I live
I hope he knows how I feel.
But it´s Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Since you´ve been away on Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Don´t want to think about Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Don´t want to talk about Christmas
Since you´ve been gone away.
But it´s Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Since you´ve been away on Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Don´t want to think about Christmas
Don´t want to talk about Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Since you´ve been gone on
Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Don´t want talk about Christmas
Don´t want to play around Christams
Since you´ve been away on Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Don´t want to cry on Christmas
Let´s all forget about Christmas
Don´t want to talk about Christmas
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HolyCrapCommunity Black Mountain, North Carolina
Holy Crap Records is a community of underground artists who make music because they can. It is also a weekly podcast on www.hlycrp.com.
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